Sunday will come

Stress can be positive if handled in the right way. Just like Elder Bednar's talk he gave about the load of wood in the back of a truck. It gives us a good amount of opposition in order for us to learn and grow. The pressure of our stress gives us the proper balance in order for us to exercise our faith in the way that the Lord sees fit.

Stress gives us the ability to make things happen in our lives, but if there is too much it can be very debilitating. When we take the time to focus on serving the Lord, for instance when we take the sacrament we are able to lay our stresses down at the alter and take upon us the yoke of Christ. In Matthew 11:30 it says," For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." 

It was never promised to us that we would go throughout life without trials and stressful situations, but it is promised that we can find rest from the stress of guilt. When we feel that can't go on anymore we can again go to the Lord and lay our stresses down. Sunday will come. Just like Elder Worthlin says.  

"Each of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come." --Elder Joseph B. Worthlin

Time is Love

This week in class has been about marital intimacy and infidelity. The definition of infidelity is anything that takes away attention from your spouse. There are four types of infidelity...fantasy, visual, romantic and sexual. The thing they all have in common is that they are all started by thoughts, which lead to actions.

"Watch your thoughts,they become words.
 Watch your words, they become actions.
 Watch your actions, they become your character.
 Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." --Lao Tzu

To help prevent infidelity from happening in marriage it takes effort, time and work, along with being on guard and being fiercely loyal. Just because you get sealed in the temple doesn't mean that you are automatically safe and good to go. One of the things I have learned is that communication is key. Being open about the needs and desires you have with your spouse is essential and can help bring you together.

President Monson shared a quote that I absolutely love. He says "Choose your love. Love your choice." You chose to marry the person you did. Take some time to think about and look for the good in them. There was a reason that you fell in love with them in the first place. Don't get distracted by looking outward or by letting little things get in the way of what is truly important. Nothing should take presidence over your spouse including your children. I enjoy listening to the song Time is Love by Josh Turner. Some of the lyrics of that song demonstrate the effort and focus that is needed in a successful marriage.

God's Will

When making choices especially something as big as who you are going to spend eternity with you may want to consider the following questions:

• Whats God's will? 
• Do you trust God? 
• Does it matter that you gain a confirmation on who you choose to marry? 

I have never been engaged nor married but with the little bit of life experience I do have, I have learned that involving Heavenly Father in decision making is so important. It really doesn't matter what other people say and think concerning what you do. Its so easy for people to voice their opinions about what you should do with your life, and they may be valid concerns....but just make sure you do what your heart says.

I know that gaining a confirmation has a great advantage especially when times get hard. I served a mission and at times when I was exhausted and felt that I couldn't do it anymore but regardless I leaned on my testimony but also the undeniable confirmation I gained and that helped me to continue to move forward and press through the difficult days. I knew without a doubt that God wanted and needed me to have those experiences and that I was needed in Vegas at that particular time. I didn't know why I needed to struggle but I am sooooo grateful that I didn't give up!! I am who I am today because of those experiences.

My teacher Brother Williams said something along the lines of "It is more important to focus on the WHAT God wants you to do in the moment rather than the WHY." We may not see the why for a long time or maybe even ever in this life time but everything happens for a reason. I know that!

This quote by President Hinckley has helped me especially as I have faced challenges in my life.

"In my ninety-plus years I have learned a secret. I have learned that when good men and women face challenges with optimism things will always work out! Truly. Things always work out! Despite how difficult circumstances may look at the moment. Those who have faith and move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out!"

We need to have the faith to move forward and trust that God has a bigger and better plan than we can even comprehend. If we have that faith everything will work out!

Three P's

What do going on dates and the Family Proclamation to the world have in common? I loved thinking about that question. When going on a date there are three P's to remember. Planned. Paid for. Paired-off. Its always good to have a plan when going on a date. Don't forget your wallet and be willing to give your attention and time to whom you are going on a date with, In the Family Proclamation there are three P's as well. Husbands and fathers are primarily responsible for Providing, Protecting and Presiding in their home and families.

Guys asking girls on dates is divine because it helps them fulfill their duty as the provider, protector and presider. It gives them experiences before they get married and have families of their own. It can show a girl a lot about a guy by the dates they plan and go on. Is the guy going to be a good provider? Can he show up and have a plan for an enjoyable evening?

It takes three things to get to know someone. 1. Time. It takes about three months to get to know the real person that you are dating and to see them in different situations. 2. Talk. There needs to be mutual self-disclosure. If only one partner is talking the whole time about themselves, the other person doesn't have the same opportunity to get to know him or her. 3. Togetherness. Doing a variety of shared activities can build your friendship, trust and love.

You marry who you date. One of the reasons you date is to eventually find an eternal companion. Eternity is a long time and you want to make sure you are dating is living up to the standards that the Lord has set for each of us.

Its been said before to me that before you decide to get married, you should see your potential spouse in different situations. How do they handle being with kids? What are they like when they are mad, sad, disappointed or happy? Are they temple worthy? Do they know who their home teaching families are?  What types of relationships does they have with their family and parents? How does they treat their mother and family?

Identity Distraction

As I sat in class today as we talked about homosexual relationships my heart ached. It really bothered me. Not so much the topic but just how I felt as I listened. My teacher brought up the point that with every gay couple there is an opportunity lost for two woman to be married and bear children the way God intended it to be. God has a plan for each of us. He is aware of each of us--and each of us individually.

As I sat in class thoughts came into my head...Satan wants to distract us from focusing on what truly is important. Hes destroying the family by distracting us and getting us all worked up about "gay" relationships. If we are focused on those things, rather than strengthening our relationships the way Heavenly Father made and intended us to be, we are letting Satan win.

 Elder Cook in the talk entitled Choose  Wisely states, "When we rationalize wrong choices, big or small, which are inconsistent with the restored gospel, we lose the blessings and protections we need and often become ensnared in sin or simply lose our way."

Satan is really good at distracting us and letting things seem like a big deal or whatnot because if we are worried about those things we cant fulfill our duties at all or as well, which is exactly what he wants to have happen. "Many choices are not inherently evil, but if they absorb all of our time and keep us from the best choices, then they become insidious...Distractions and rationalizations that limit progress are harmful enough, but when they diminish faith in Jesus Christ and His Church, they are tragic."

I love the gospel. I love the guidance, direction and protection it can bring to each of our lives as we accept it.

Doubt and fear creep in more easily if we give heed to the words of the world and become caught up in and distracted in our real purpose and identity.

You are what you eat!

Things happen. Somethings we can control and somethings we cant. There is always a choice. We can choose to be happy or choose to be miserable. 

Elder Packer in General Conference April 1989 said," I know that you sometimes feel that life isn't fair; why can't you have things that others have. You even wonder why you can't be somebody else and exchange your body with someone who appears to be more beautiful or handsome or talented or brighter or stronger or thinner; or change personalities with someone who is not so shy or blundering or frightened as you are.

 Sometimes you wonder why you can't trade your parents for some better ones. No need to apologize; they sometimes wish they could trade you for someone easier to live with. But parents and grandparents make allowances for those feelings. After all, we are just teenagers who have evened out a few of our frustrations so that they don't show as much as they did when we were your age. And someday, soon enough, you are going to be us!" 

You may not be able to control every outcome of your life, just like when you are little and your mom makes you eat your vegetables, but you CAN choose your attitude. Moaning and groaning at the dinner table doesn't make your vegetables disappear any faster. If you would just eat them, you would be able to carry on with their life and not be miserable....plus you would be healthy. 

We each have a choice. No matter how or where we grew up, no matter the circumstance we can learn from it and make a conscious decision of how we will choose to live our lives. Just because a certain trait or attribute has been in a family for as long as you remember doesn't mean you cant make a choice to change it. It wont necessarily be easy but it may well be worth it!   

Speaking Without a Word

Everything we do is symbolic. From hearts on a paper, to things we say everything means something. The body language and facial expression to the tone of voice someone has can make all the difference. I have found that I would much rather talk to someone in person or on the phone than by a text or Facebook message. The way I am feeling towards that particular individual and what is said can be skewed depending on how I am feeling about myself and how I assume the person is feeling that is communicating with me. It is much easier to differentiate someone that is mad and someone that is sad when you can actually see their face expression or hear the tone of their voice.

We all know the saying "If moms not happy nobodys.happy." I've learned thru trial and error what I should do and not do when someone in my family isn't happy. Sometimes it is to go clean the bathroom or vacuum the floor really quick to ease the tension of stressed out mom. At times I have found that it is better to just leave and give people their space. Other times it is to just stop what I am doing, sit and listen. Its because I know my family well enough and their body language and tone of voice that I don't have to ask "whats your problem?" I can just tell.

That is with other aspects of relationships too. My roommate and I were talking the other night just about completely random stuff. Suddenly she stopped ,looked at me and said " I know that face." I hadn't said anything to her, I was just listening and she could tell exactly what I was feeling by the big smile on my face. We then busted up laughing and continued our conversation. Its interesting to me that if we pay attention we can tell a lot about a person and how they are feeling. Each of us if we like it or not,speak even without saying a word.