I struggled as all
missionaries do. That one companion. You know the one I’m talking about. She
tested my patience. I remember her suggesting that I have more patience. I
could have exploded in rage when she said that because I had felt that I was
being patient and if she or anyone told me to be patient one more time, I swore
I was going to show them just how patient I had already been.
When voicing my concern
to one of my leaders I was counseled to pray for patience. I had heard all the
stories and expressions of people saying “whatever you do, don’t pray for
it.” I prayed for it then and it was different
than I had anticipated. I imagined as people had told me that I would have
these challenging people and experiences that would test my patience. At first
I was worried, but the fear soon left as I gained more understanding,
compassion and love toward my companion and those around me without much of a
battle, like I had anticipated. Now nearly two years later I am working on that
same Christ-like quality. The dreaded P word.
Throughout my life I have
had people say things to me such as “you are so patient” while others say I need
to be more patient. Recently I was counseled to be patient, not by a leader but
by God through a priesthood blessing, so that is what I am trying to work on
and become better at. Each of us are human and make mistakes. Imagine how God
must feel having to watch and deal with us every day. How patient He must be!
Elder Holland has said
“Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly
frustrating to him, but He deals with it. So should we.” These last couple
weeks I have prayed for patience towards those around me. I have noticed that
there hasn’t been big disagreements or problems within my apartment which is a
huge blessing. When I have seen the pile of dishes in the sink, instead of
becoming irritable, I haven’t got upset but instead just quietly do them. When
one of my roommates has had a stressful day and has happened to short with me,
instead of becoming offended, I have been able to more fully and quickly
forgive them.
In no way am I saying that
just because I prayed for patience, it came easily. I have put in effort and
had to just let some things go, not making a big deal about them. It’s
sometimes as simple as me keeping my mouth shut when I very easily could have
made a comment. At other times it has been to just remember that I won’t be in
this situation forever and that I should try to learn as much as I can because
before I know it things will be different.
President Thomas S.
Monson says this about patience, “Life is full of difficulties, some minor and
others of a more serious nature. There seems to be an unending supply of
challenges for one and all. Our problem is that we often expect instantaneous
solutions to such challenges, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of
patience is required.” (“Patience- A Heavenly Virtue” Ensign Nov. 1995) Oh how
true those words are from our beloved Prophet. This life wasn’t meant to be
easy. Trials and challenges help us to learn and grow more than the easy, good
times in our lives.
I enjoy the part in the Book of Mormon where Laman and Lemuel are angry with Nehi so they tie him up on the ship. A few days had gone by and they would not let Nephi go despite the pleas of his family members. I love the scriptures that explain this, "But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound. And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren, and I spake unto them again." (1 Nephi 7:17-18) Nephi had to be and was patient. God didn't answer Nephi's prayer in exactly the way he hoped it would be answered, but the bands were made loose. That is very much how God works in our lives. He doesn't give us exactly what we ask for all the time, but what we need. It was after a few days of Nephi being tied up and his hands and feet began to swell because of the bands which he was tied up with. Yet Nephi chose to be patient and not complain about his circumstances. I am learning that patience, at least for me, is a daily struggle. I can't just say I've mastered the concept, nor will I probably ever be able to say that in this lifetime, but choice by choice, day by day, I can become a little better.
I enjoy the part in the Book of Mormon where Laman and Lemuel are angry with Nehi so they tie him up on the ship. A few days had gone by and they would not let Nephi go despite the pleas of his family members. I love the scriptures that explain this, "But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound. And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren, and I spake unto them again." (1 Nephi 7:17-18) Nephi had to be and was patient. God didn't answer Nephi's prayer in exactly the way he hoped it would be answered, but the bands were made loose. That is very much how God works in our lives. He doesn't give us exactly what we ask for all the time, but what we need. It was after a few days of Nephi being tied up and his hands and feet began to swell because of the bands which he was tied up with. Yet Nephi chose to be patient and not complain about his circumstances. I am learning that patience, at least for me, is a daily struggle. I can't just say I've mastered the concept, nor will I probably ever be able to say that in this lifetime, but choice by choice, day by day, I can become a little better.
Not going to lie sometimes having patience is easier for me than at other times. Despite everything that happens in life, I know that God keeps his promises. His way and timing, more often than not, are not what I had in mind and it is difficult. But as I have patience and trust in Him I see that His plans and the potential he sees in me is so much more than I ever saw.
I think one of the reasons on the mission I had that certain companion is so I could learn patience, but I also learned from her what unconditional love she had for me and the people we were serving. If anyone would have asked me that when I was in the situation, I would have had absolutely no idea why I was companions with her for those two very long and challenging transfers.
Heavenly Father knew then as he knows now, that I needed to have the experience of learning patience from the sister in my mission who challenged it in me. And for whatever reason, I have been asked again to be patient with things that are going on in my life. Maybe one day when I look back at this experience that I am going through right now in my life, I will see exactly what God’s purpose is for me and I will be able to thank Him for allowing me to learn, yet again, and continually the importance of the once dreaded P word.
