You must be my daughter!!

With classes being only once this week and thanksgiving here, we were asked to write a paper based on fatherhood and the importance of fathers. So I have been thinking quite a bit about my dad and the influence he has had on my life and my family.

There has been research done and I found out that children that have a father in the home or at least a part in their kids lives do better in school, learn more and have healthier behavior than those who don't. Society has down-played the importance of dads and it makes me sad. Fathers have a huge role to play not only providing financial for his family but also for the teaching his children in ways and about things that are needed to be successful in life.

My dad is a hard worker. He has provided the necessary things that our family needs, Growing up he took the time to teach us kids how to do all sorts of different things. One of my favorite things growing up was going outside to be with him and my brothers as they worked on different projects...from taking care of the animals and the yard to figuring out why the car was acting up.

There are things in my dad that I see in myself. Just last night actually we were eating dinner and I looked down and sure enough somehow I ended up with food all over my lap. My dad just looked and said something along the lines of "you must be my daughter." It was pretty funny.

I am thankful for my dad and all he does for our family. I love this quote that says " The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." I know my dad loves my mom and I am grateful for both of them and all they do for me.

Ask and Listen

I don't know about you, but when I think of conflict it makes me want to run away from it. I like to keep the peace and not cause contention. Some may call me a pushover or that people walk all over me but I just don't handle conflict or contention very well. It makes me feel uncomfortable.  

Today in class we were discussing conflict. My teacher said that just because there is conflict doesn't mean it has to be an argument. As we discussed conflict and power he brought to the classes’ attention that conflict is the opportunities for some things. At first I had a hard time coming up with anything from a conflict that would be beneficial for anyone. 

Some of the benefits of conflict is that it gives both people the opportunity to see from different perspectives and gain more information regarding the matter. If conflict is handled lovingly it can teach both people to be more humble and teachable. Conflict can bring your trust and confidence in each other to a greater level. It can also bring you together and become an intimate experience while discussing important things that have meaning. 

At least for me when there are issues I am really good at becoming silent and keeping my opinions to myself...until I've had enough then I explode in frustration. I found this quote that is really good and I find value in it.

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said. The art of reading between the lines is a lifelong quest of the wise." Shannon L. Alder

There are many ways to communicate and it’s not only through words. Whether we like it or not we are always communicating sometimes more when we aren't using our words. My teacher showed us this:

Words 14%

Tone 35%

Non-verbal 51%

_____________

100%

Communicating can help avoid some conflict as we are loving and kind to those around us. We not only need to communicate with out spouse and family but also and specifically Heavenly Father. He needs to be just as much involved in our lives as our spouse is. We not only need to ask, but also listen to both God and those around us. 

Sunday will come

Stress can be positive if handled in the right way. Just like Elder Bednar's talk he gave about the load of wood in the back of a truck. It gives us a good amount of opposition in order for us to learn and grow. The pressure of our stress gives us the proper balance in order for us to exercise our faith in the way that the Lord sees fit.

Stress gives us the ability to make things happen in our lives, but if there is too much it can be very debilitating. When we take the time to focus on serving the Lord, for instance when we take the sacrament we are able to lay our stresses down at the alter and take upon us the yoke of Christ. In Matthew 11:30 it says," For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." 

It was never promised to us that we would go throughout life without trials and stressful situations, but it is promised that we can find rest from the stress of guilt. When we feel that can't go on anymore we can again go to the Lord and lay our stresses down. Sunday will come. Just like Elder Worthlin says.  

"Each of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come." --Elder Joseph B. Worthlin

Time is Love

This week in class has been about marital intimacy and infidelity. The definition of infidelity is anything that takes away attention from your spouse. There are four types of infidelity...fantasy, visual, romantic and sexual. The thing they all have in common is that they are all started by thoughts, which lead to actions.

"Watch your thoughts,they become words.
 Watch your words, they become actions.
 Watch your actions, they become your character.
 Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." --Lao Tzu

To help prevent infidelity from happening in marriage it takes effort, time and work, along with being on guard and being fiercely loyal. Just because you get sealed in the temple doesn't mean that you are automatically safe and good to go. One of the things I have learned is that communication is key. Being open about the needs and desires you have with your spouse is essential and can help bring you together.

President Monson shared a quote that I absolutely love. He says "Choose your love. Love your choice." You chose to marry the person you did. Take some time to think about and look for the good in them. There was a reason that you fell in love with them in the first place. Don't get distracted by looking outward or by letting little things get in the way of what is truly important. Nothing should take presidence over your spouse including your children. I enjoy listening to the song Time is Love by Josh Turner. Some of the lyrics of that song demonstrate the effort and focus that is needed in a successful marriage.